Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize