Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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