I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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