There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
