After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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