She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Randomize
