so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
