His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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