If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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