You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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