Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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