Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
