I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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