I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
