i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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