super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
This house was built for laser tag.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Randomize
