please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
