Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
