I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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