I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
dude i'm inner monologue high
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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