I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
