I feel great
I just peed on a car
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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