All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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