I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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