Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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