OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i already hear my dad disowning me
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
