I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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