I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
