He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
