I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
