There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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