i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize