Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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