Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
And then he peed in my hair
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