I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
