I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
