The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
