I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
