im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
