Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
