Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
