Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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