she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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