But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
