he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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