they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
So vagazzling was a success
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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