Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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