Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
