Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
