Soap is not a condiment
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
