Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
