I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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