is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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