Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
