There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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