I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
