I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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