I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
