they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize