summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
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